Posts Tagged ‘The Ashes’

Swann Wants T20 & ODI Success

Posted: January 13, 2011 in Uncategorized
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England spinner Graeme Swann wants England to maintain their winning ways by beating Australia in the upcoming two T20 matches, followed by seven One Day Internationals.

Both sides will be looking to fine-tune their preparations for the forthcoming World Cup which starts in February.

England pulled off an historic win by retaining the Ashes, winning the series in Australia. The first time this has been achieved for twenty four years, the spinner wants to make put the icing on the cake with a winter to remember by winning the T20 and ODI matches.

“It’s nice to win the Ashes, I won’t lie to you,” said Swann.

“It’s been a great tour for us so far and the worst thing for us would be if we stuttered and stopped at the end of the tour.

“We want to go home to 50,000 people at Heathrow cheering us which, if we lose the one-dayers, might be down to about 40,000.”

He added: “It’s important that we show the good one-day form we’ve shown recently because we want to be number one in all forms.

“Let’s face it we were (ranked) number seven or eight not so long ago and we were garbage.

“We’ve had some very good series results recently. We beat the Australians at home last year and we won the Twenty20 in Barbados to win that World Cup.

“Both teams have changed quite a bit since then so it will be interesting to see how it plays out.”


Say, did you know that the Australian’s had lost the Ashes?  Well, just to thank them, we thought we would give you the top twenty Ashes jokes currently doing the rounds on a mobile phone near you!

What do you call an Australian with a champagne bottle in his hand?
A waiter.

Snow White returned to the cottage to find it had burned down. Distraught, she searches for the dwarfs in the forest and hears a lone voice chanting: “The aussies are going to win the ashes, the aussies are going to win the ashes” On hearing this, Snow White gave a little sigh of relief as she knew that at least Dopey was safe! 

What’s the difference between Ricky Ponting and a Phoenix?
At the end of The Ashes, the Phoenix still has a future.

Why can no-one drink wine in Australia at the moment? 
They haven’t got any openers …

What do you call an Australian who is good with a bat?
A vet.

Mitchell Johnson  – two minutes after going out to bat..
What do you call an Australian with 100 runs against his name?

A bowler. 

I had to borrow a cup of sugar the other day. I asked Shane Watson – but he had run out.

What’s the difference between Ricky Ponting and a funeral director?
A funeral director doesn’t keep losing the ashes.

What is the main function of the Australia coach?
To transport the team from the hotel to the ground.

The ICC are investigating strange betting patterns on the Sydney test. Someone allegedly put $20 on Australia 

What’s the Australian version of LBW?
Lost, Beaten, Walloped.

What’s the height of optimism?
An Aussie batsman putting on sunscreen.

Why don’t Aussie fielders need pre-tour travel injections?
Because they never catch anything.

Why is Ricky Ponting cleverer than Houdini?
Because he can get out without even trying.

What did the spectator miss when he went to the toilet?
The entire Australian innings.


A phone call comes into the Australian dressing room
‘Is it possible to speak to Mr Ponting please?
‘I’m sorry’ says a voice at the other end, ‘he has, gone out to bat’
‘No problem, I’ll hold the line’

What do you call a cricket field full of Australians ?
A vacant lot.

Who spends the most time on the crease of anyone in the Australian team?
The woman who ironed the cricket whites.

What does an Australian batsman who is playing in The Ashes have in common with Michael Jackson?
They both wore gloves for no apparent reason.

England Team Director Andy Flower has said that England Captain Andrew Strauss was instrumental in leading the team that retained the Ashes in Australia and rounded off nicely with a series win, beating Australia in the Fifth test by an innings and 83 runs.

The England camp celebrated after succeeding in a first series win in Australian for some 24 final Test at the SCG on Friday.

“I’d rather talk about the cricket, but the celebrations were good, and well deserved by the players,” Flower said.

“We had a good time and I think the guys are reflecting on a job well done and a job that they are very proud of.

“All sorts of things go into what makes successful sides and Strauss’ leadership is very influential factor in that success.

“He is very strong in the dressing room and in the middle with bat or marshalling the troops.

“He’s grown in stature in this series, and considering the high position he started, that’s saying a lot about him.”

Speaking on Alastair Cook, Flower said; “He’s overcome most challenges that have been put in front of him, which is testament to that strength of character and, considering that people were calling for his head not so long ago, it is an outstanding riposte.

“Although that’s not why he did it, it was because of the pride he has in his own performance and because he is very proud to play for England.

“I am very happy for him personally, and we’re all thankful that he made those contributions to the team for us.”

England cricket coach Andy Flower has suggested that he may make some changes to his bowling line-up when they play their fourth Test in Melbourne. England slumped to a heavy 267-run defeat as they struggled to break down the Aussies in the Third Test.

Australia’s fast bowlers dominated in Perth and it is thought that Flower may turn to Tim Bresnan or Ajmal Shahzad. Both have yet to feature so far this tour with Chris Tremlett deputising for the injured Stuart Broad

“A five-Test series is hard on everyone, both physically and emotionally. For the fast bowlers even more so, I would say,” Flower said. “We’ve got a few days now to reassess prior to Melbourne and the bottom line is we’ll pick the XI that we think will have the best chance of winning in Melbourne.

“The workload on our bowlers is heavy. In the absence of a quality all-rounder we’re sticking with our four-bowler attack and we’ve shown over the last 18 months that it’s served us well.”

Andy Flower is considering promoting Ian Bell up the order after Kevin Pietersen and Paul Collingwood have failed to deliver in the middle order.

“We are always looking at ways to improve our side,” Flower said. “Ian Bell looks in very good form, he’s very confident and he’s played beautifully throughout this tour.

“Jiggling with batting orders and personnel is always an option but you also have to be careful about altering a side that’s been very successful over the last 18 months.”

England Aim For Third Test Glory

Posted: December 15, 2010 in Uncategorized
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England go into the third Test match tomorrow at Perth in hope of wrapping of the series this side of Christmas, an England win will see them retain the Ashes in Australia for the first time since 1985.

While confidence is high following their triumphant victory in the last match at Adelaide, the tourists know Australia will be looking for a better performance.

Australia will make some changes for the third Test and it is thought that both Ben Hilfenhaus and Mitchell Johnson will return to the side.

Both fast bowlers missed the last test and this wicket will suit their style.

Australia insist that they haven’t decided on the final XI yet.

“We haven’t got a team yet,” said Ponting on the eve of the match.

“We’ve had a good look at the wicket this afternoon. It’s changed a little bit since we’ve been here today so we want to just want to have a look at it again tomorrow before we finalise what our XI will be.”

“(It’s) still particularly grassy and I’ve had a good chat to Cameron (curator Cameron Sutherland) today about the wicket.

“It’s different grass than there’s been on the wicket before, so we’ve got a lot of things that we’ve got to think about yet before we finalise it.

“Looking at the wicket you’d think there’s going to be a result in this game, so obviously that has to be a positive one for us or it’s game, set and match.”

England will need to make just one change to side after Stuart Broad was ruled out for the rest of the tour following a stomach injury he received during in the last Test.

Chris Tremlett, Tim Bresnan and Ajmal Shahzad are all vying for Broad’s position, but it is thought that England will go with Chris Tremlett.

“All three bring different skills to the party, and we have to work out which one is going to be best for Perth and onwards,” Strauss admitted. “The way we’ve got to look at it is which bowler will help us take 20 wickets.

“When you’re only playing four bowlers, they’ve got to be able to do their primary job.

“We’re going to have to try to read the wicket – which is always a bit of a mysterious art.”

Brett Lee Backing Ponting & Co

Posted: December 13, 2010 in Uncategorized
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Speed Is The Key

Legendary Australian fast bowler Brett Lee has thrown his full support behind Ricky Ponting and his team as they head into the third test match against England in Perth.

Australia who drew the first test in Brisbane and lost the second test in Adelaide will be looking to bounce back knowing a loss will give England the series win, retaining the Ashes in Australia for the first time since 1986 when Mike Gatting captained the team.

Brett Lee insists all the pressure is all on England and this could help Australia when play starts on Thursday.

“I think the good thing Australia has got now is that the only way for us is up,” said the fast bowler.

“The way that England have been playing, I think the pressure is now on them.

“I know they are 1-0 up in the series after two games but we hope that the Australian team can go out there and find some form.”

Australia has been recalled to the team by the selectors and he feels the seamer could be the key to breaking through England’s batsmen.

“I caught up with Mitch in Adelaide and he was in a great frame of mind,” he added.

“It’s almost like when you know you’re on the verge of being dropped that when you’re actually dropped there’s a sigh of relief almost because you can go away and try and work on your game and work out how you can get back in [the team].

“I’m sure he gets his opportunity in Perth – and we hope it’s going to be a nice bouncy wicket for the quicks – so fingers crossed he can go there and get a bag of wickets.”

Nathan Hauritz Unhappy With Selectors

Nathan Hauritz has signalled his frustration at being frozen out by Australia by giving away his Test kit.

The off-spinner was sat outside his Sydney flat, giving out his training kit to anyone who was interested,

Hauritz, 29, who has played 17 Tests and taken 63 wickets, was shocked when novice left-arm spinner Xavier Doherty was brought in ahead of Hauritz for the first two Ashes Tests and uncapped Michael Beer for the third.

Nathan Hauritz responded by giving away jumpers and selling training kit. Hauritz said: ‘I don’t play for them (Australia) any more.’

Even Xavier Doherty, who was dumped after taking just 1-158 in the innings defeat at Adelaide, has admitted that there seems to be some confusion over what selectors want from spin bowlers.

”You have seen how many spinners they have used over the last couple of years, so I’m sure the selectors aren’t quite sure who the next person is,” the 27-year-old said upon learning of his axing on Friday.